Human
by clairesie
Summary: Fowl Manor destroyed, Artemis responsible. Guilt from consequent injuries to inhabitants. Might be one-shot, might continue if people think I should. Rated for occasional language.
1. Devastation

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Hi everybody, this is a weird sort of thing which I just randomly started to write and then for some reason decided to post on the internet. You may have read my other fic which is the main one I'm working on, Artemis Fowl and the Middle Class Family, and it's heaps lighthearted compared to this one, but I wanted to try writing something sad.

Also, I'm not sure if this should be a one-shot or not. I have some stuff written as a sort of 'potential' chapter, but I don't want to wreck it by making it go on if you guys thing it's better as a one-shot.

One last thing, as well as reviewing and telling me to stop wasting precious database space with my stupid stories, could someone please look up something in the first book for me and tell me the quote - I lent my copy to someone else and I can't remember the exact wording. So, if you have the book handy and feel like reviewing, could you please tell me the bit where Artemis is talking to Holly when he's recently kidnapped her and it goes something like _"…you… you…" The creature thought him so awful, she couldn't even find words to describe him. _I'm not sure if that's right but anyway, if you feel like telling me I would be very very grateful!!

Disclaimer: If you're mistaking this load of D'Arvit for Eoin Colfer's stuff, you are either truly stupid or else you're trying to build a case against yourself for slandering him. HA turned the legal stuff against you... muhahahaha...

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The wind whipped through Artemis' hair, making the many scratches on his face sting furiously. He stood on a hill, vaguely concealed by undergrowth, and gazed into space, eyes unfocussed. 

"To err is to be human, Artemis," Butler said quietly, placing a weathered hand on his charge's shoulder.

"I know, Butler. But when did I ever express a wish to be human?"

The two stood in silence and stared across the land where so recently had stood the magnificence of Fowl Manor. Butler heard Artemis draw a sharp breath when the first stretcher was brought out from the wreckage. The stretcher carried Angeline, barely breathing, to the waiting ambulance, where attempts to revive her were started.

The second stretcher to emerge carried a man who Artemis knew had been in a sorry state like that more than any man needed to, without this. It was for his father's life that he feared most, and he found himself hoping more desperately for his father than for his mother, which confused him.

"Shit, Dom, what the hell happened there?" yelled Juliet as she walked towards her brother and Artemis. She had quite a deep scratch on her cheek, and she was clutching her left wrist, suggesting that it was badly hurt.

"Juliet!" cried Butler, who jogged towards his sister but refrained from hugging her so as not to hurt her wrist, his eyes full of concern. "Were you in there too? I never knew... have you had them check your wrist? Are you okay?"

"Dom, I'm fine, seriously. And I don't want to go near them, they'll decide I'm concussed or something and keep me in hospital for the next six months. Wow, that would suck so much. But what happened?"

Butler looked at Artemis, who swallowed and stepped forward. He had noticed a little venom in Butler's look at him, which he put down to the fact that Juliet had been hurt too.

"It was my fault. All my fault. I was experimenting with unstable compounds without the proper equipment. They weren't completely confined in the magnetic field and... this happened. Juliet, Butler - I'm... sorry. I really am."

"That's okay Art'mis, no... well, not much harm done. We forgive you, don't we, Dom?"

Butler nodded silently, the venom gone from his eyes and replaced with a sad, tired look which made his face look far older than it should have. The bodyguard had been touched by the honesty and uncharacteristic emotion in Artemis' response.

"Yes, we forgive you, Artemis."

The boy smiled wryly and shook his head. The sadness in Butler's eyes was even worse than the venom, and for some reason he felt guilty deep inside as he noticed the bodyguard's more haggard looks.

"You might forgive me, and I thank you for it. However, the idea that I am worth forgiveness is new to me. In my quest for power, I have destroyed everything. What do I do now?"

"Mate, you haven't destroyed everything. You've still got us, haven't you? Cheer up, the house can be built again."

"Look down the hill, Juliet. See those two ambulances?"

"Is that... are they... oh dear."

Tears sprung to Juliet's eyes for the first time that day as Artemis continued to explain.

"My mother and father are within them, fighting for their lives. Because of me. If I had only been less keen to create something so powerful..."

"Hey Dom, what if we follow them to the hospital? Could find out how they are and stuff."

Butler shook his head, and his eyes had narrowed.

"Now is not a good time to hang around. It seems that the authorities down there may wish to ask some questions – Artemis, unless you are prepared to answer such questions, we might be wiser to leave for now. In the current international climate, unexplained explosions will not be treated lightly. Shall we?"

The bodyguard could see that Artemis considered staying and dealing with the investigators, but put a hand on the boy's shoulder and steered him gently away from the wrecked manor and into the grounds.

"You won't be much use to anyone if they get you now, Artemis," Butler said softly. Artemis nodded and walked with the Butlers silently.

The small, sombre group walked briskly into the darker part of the forest which was on Fowl land, where they found a small house. They went inside and Butler motioned for them to sit on the comfortable granny-style couches.

"This was originally the gamekeeper's lodge," Butler explained. "This is where I come on my day off to think. I have a first aid kit here Juliet, you might want a bandage for that wrist, and some antiseptic for your face..."

"Do I have to? That stuff stings so much. I'm fine, really, Dom," she insisted as she carefully wrapped a bandage around her injured wrist.

"Fine, wash it out with water, I don't care. Artemis, do you want some antiseptic?"

"No thankyou, Butler. I too will simply wash my scratches with water."

Butler shrugged and sighed.

"Not much use being a bodyguard if your principal and sister succumb to micro-organisms anyway."

This earned him a punch from Juliet and a slightly softened look from Artemis.

"So when do you think we can visit my parents?" asked the boy.

"Well I guess we'll need a plan. The authorities don't know that we were there at the time of the blast, do they?" Butler looked thoughtful.

"I see no reason for them to know that... unless my mother has woken up and started asking about us. But from the state she appeared to be in when they took her..."

Artemis swallowed and was silent. Juliet patted him on the shoulder and attempted to reassure him.

"She'll be fine, Artemis, they both will, I'm sure. But yeah, I suppose they'll probably still be out of it."

"Right, well anyway, if they don't know we were there, we should be fine. Does that sound right to you, Artemis?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we go now?"

The Butler siblings could tell that the boy was very distracted indeed. They didn't blame him in the least – both of them remembered losing their parents with a pain that stung more than any antiseptic. All they could do was hope that their young friend would not have to go through the same ordeal.

"There's an older car around the back here which I use to run errands in sometimes. I hope you won't mind the lack of luxury, Artemis – it's not as comfortable as the Bentley – but I suppose you'll get over it so long as the engine works."

"Which it will," added Juliet hurriedly to her brother's somewhat dubious comment, after seeing the boy's eyebrow twitch warningly.

The three quietly filed out the door and followed Butler through the forest to a small carport at the end of a muddy driveway. Inside was a little car that looked about ten years old, but still in reasonable condition. The huge bodyguard squeezed himself into the driver's seat and turned on the engine before the others entered the car.

"It's okay, you can get in, she just needs a couple of minutes to warm up a bit," Butler said, patting the steering wheel. Juliet gave Artemis a small grin and motioned him to take the front passenger's seat, but he shook his head and climbed into the back seat instead.

"You sit next to Butler and talk to him, I need to think," he muttered. Juliet shrugged and got into the front seat. As soon as she had done this, her brother revved the engine and reversed out of the carport, then drove along the driveway.

"Is it alright if we go a slightly longer way, Artemis? Just going through the back roads a bit until we get away from the Ma- the property. For safety's sake."

Artemis murmured assent and stared at his reflection in the window, thinking. It was all his fault, he knew that. And it was his fault that Butler looked so disappointed, and old. This was something he could barely cope with – something you couldn't formulate a solution to, or a plan to fix. As much as he might insist that his powers of communication were brilliant, he'd never quite got the hang of empathy, or repercussions on others from his actions. If he really thought about it, he wasn't actually a particularly good person in any way, as a human. But he never said he wanted to be human.

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Well, there you go. Review! Either agree with me and say it's pointless crap, or beg to differ and say that it is crap that serves a purpose - to amuse by its crappiness. Ah whatever, do what you like, but if someone could tell me that quote I'd be much obliged. And whether to continue it or not. Thankyou!


	2. Hospital

Hi guys... sorry I haven't updated this in ages, schoolwork was consuming my soul... but now I've finished all that for the summer, and I have, well, I don't actually know how long until I start year 11, so hopefully I'll be writing more stuff until then.

Anyway, as far as a disclaimer goes, I guess you're sick of them, but still, just in case... Colfer owns it, I don't, dammit. Good enough?

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Chapter 2

The journey was uneventful, and the three reached the hospital fairly quickly, although it seemed aeons to Artemis. They were just about to leave the car when Juliet stopped them.

"Um, guys? Remember we might need excuses for, like, the scratches and stuff, you know. Seeing as we weren't there. Actually, for that matter, where were we? And, um, how do we know about the explosion and stuff?"

Artemis blinked and smoothed his hair involuntarily. What was he coming to, if he had forgotten to notice vital points like this? If _Juliet_ was the one making the plans and pointing out the flaws? He needed to get a grip, and fast, if he was to evade terrorism charges or some such rot.

But then, the explosion was in the quest of power after all. Was he a terrorist? No, surely not. He wasn't that heartless. Was he?

A phrase came to mind, with an associated thought. _"What kind of…" The creature thought him so awful, she couldn't even find words to describe him._

He remembered it happening, but couldn't place when, or where. Perhaps in a dream. But then, he remembered the same creature telling him that he had, what was it, a _spark of decency_. Maybe he wasn't completely bad. Unless, of course, this was all part of a dream, in which case…

"Artemis? Are you coming?" Artemis looked up and realised that he had been too lost in thought even to notice the Butlers getting out of the car. He quickly climbed out and looked questioningly at his bodyguard.

"We've worked out our excuses in case they ask us stuff," said Juliet, and the boy turned to face her expectantly.

"We were horseriding at this guy's estate when in happened. The estate is two hours away from the Manor, and also I'm not that good a horse rider which would explain the scratches and wrist. You fell off too." Artemis nodded, and Butler continued.

"The proprietor of the estate in question has been notified of our visit, he doesn't make a point of going out to meet every person who comes so he can't say for sure that we weren't there, and we left a tip of twenty thousand pounds for him to improve his stables, because they weren't quite up to our discerning standards."

Butler gave Artemis a searching look at this point, because normally the boy would show at least a glimmer of approval when the concept of bribery was introduced. He saw nothing, which worried him.

"That should be fine," said Artemis, preoccupied with his own thoughts again. The three of them walked slowly across the carpark towards the hospital doors.

They entered the reception area and Butler went over to the desk as Juliet and Artemis stood on the other side of the room.

"Good afternoon. We are here to enquire after Mr and Mrs Fowl. We believe them to be at this hospital. Could you help us, please?"

The receptionist looked up at the huge bodyguard towering before her, and then past him to the young woman and the scrawny pale boy. She frowned and typed for a moment on her computer, then shook her head.

"Nothing here. F-O-W-L right? When did they come?"

"Yes, the spelling is correct. They should have arrived late this morning. They were emergency patients, if that's any help."

"Right, well, it's a possibility that they haven't been put into the computer yet. If you'll excuse me, I'll just make a call down there and see if any of the emergency staff know where they are."

She turned to the telephone and spoke quietly for a couple of minutes. Meanwhile, Butler turned to look at the other two. Juliet glanced at him, and he mouthed "They might still be in emergency." She frowned, not having understood him, but shrugged and returned to staring aimlessly at the wall. The receptionist returned and Butler strode back to the desk.

"We've found them. Room 6, ICU floor. You can go down and see them, but Mrs Fowl is still unconscious. Mr Fowl seems lively enough though, considering his condition. Relatives, are they?"

"They are the young gentleman's parents. Could you give us directions to Room 6, please?"

"Of course. Along that hallway, second left, down the stairs and third room on your right. There's a sign on the door, you shouldn't miss it. Hope they get better soon, the kid looks pretty…"

"Thankyou, that will be all we need to know for now," Butler cut in. "Thankyou for your time, madam."

Artemis had obviously heard the instructions to his parents' room, but had not seen which way the receptionist had pointed, as he headed off down a corridor in the opposite direction. Juliet looked around, not having noticed that he had gone, but then saw him disappearing down a corridor as Butler turned around. She observed Butler's frown of confusion, then understood and jogged after the boy.

"Oy! Artemis! Wait up a sec, mate, hang on…" she called, but he seemed not to hear her. At last she grabbed him gently by the shoulder and pointed him in the opposite direction, back to the lobby, and then led him to the entrance of the right hallway. He caught on quickly and charged off, leaving the two Butlers to follow.

"Poor kid," Juliet muttered to her brother. "I hope they're both alright; I don't reckon he'd cope if either of them… you know. Didn't make it."

"I think he'd cope. He did alright when he thought I was…" Butler trailed off, looking confused.

"What were you, Dom? Surely no-one has ever kicked the arse of the great Butler?" Juliet frowned, displaying a slight smile tinged with worry.

"You know, I just can't remember. Has that ever happened to you? You have the edge of a memory but you can't quite grasp it, and then it's gone…"

"Yeah, actually. Those lenses, I almost thought I knew where they came from, and then I lost it. Don't you hate it when that happens?"

"Mm," agreed Butler. He increased his pace to keep up with Artemis, who was starting to lose them.

Artemis walked briskly mindlessly though the corridors of the hospital. He was constantly staring at his surroundings but took nothing in; his thoughts had taken over again.

He had come to the conclusion that he was not a terrorist, because being a terrorist meant blowing things up to get your own way because the people were scared. He just hadn't been careful enough with the compounds, which had exploded and destroyed the Manor. Negligence wasn't terrorism. But it still had devastating consequences.

Maybe this meant that he didn't care about his family. If he'd cared about them, he would have been more careful, wouldn't he. But then, if he didn't care, why such an effect upon him now they're injured? Perhaps he just didn't care enough. Or, his desire for power was greater than his love for his parents and oldest friends.

There was the door. Room 6, near the ICU ward. Artemis paused, overcome by a sudden wish to run away in the opposite direction.

A Fowl never hesitates, said his mind.

But a human does, he thought.

Which am I? he wondered, as Juliet and Butler caught up to him.

"After you, Artemis," said Butler. "The receptionist said your father was awake, so you might want to go see how he is. Juliet and I can enter in about ten minutes, if you like."

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit then," replied the boy quietly. He closed his eyes for a moment, then stepped up to the door and knocked.

"Who's there?" a man asked weakly. Artemis took a deep breath and replied, "Your son."

"Artemis? Come on in," Artemis I said. The young Artemis opened the door a little bit and looked in though the crack. Inside was a room with two beds, brightly lit by the trademark fluorescent lights. In one bed was someone he assumed to be his mother, although he couldn't see for sure through the various machines she was connected to, and in the other, his father.

Artemis II swallowed when he saw his father. It was only a couple of months since the man had last been in hospital, and he was still gaunt and painfully thin, even after two months of Butler's famed cordon bleu cooking. The artificial lighting accentuated the shadows under every facial feature, and the abrasions, minor burns and bruises made a frightening contrast to his pale skin. A heavy load sank into the bottom of the boy's stomach as he approached his father.

"Well come closer, son – I don't look that awful, do I?" said the man wearily, patting the side of his bed for his son to sit there. Artemis sat down and silently held out his hand for his father to shake it. His father shook hands with him, and then pulled the boy into a gruff sort of hug.

It wasn't necessary to tell the man exactly what happened yet, Artemis decided, trying to enjoy what he assumed would be the last thing that ever happened to him to suggest that his father loved him.

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Well, there you go. Yet another piece of utter crap written by clairesie. Anyway, if you feel like reviewing, please do! Hopefully I will come up with another chapter for this by about a week or so, unless of course I get a whole lot of reviews telling me it's crap and should be destroyed. So, people, don't be afraid to set your true opinions free... you'll save me a lot of work... hehe. well bye for now, and thankyou to all of two people who reviewed the first chapter so far :-P hehe. 


	3. Chapter 3

And finally part three of Clairesie's christmas present to the internet... my world... anyway, excuse my weirdness and read the story! Oh, and I think this one is short and would probably have done as half a chapter, but right now it's 3:30 am on boxing day so I'm sick of writing christmas updates. I'll write more soon... but again, don't hold your breath, I waive all responsibility for asphyxiation due to long gaps between updates...

**Chapter 3**

Juliet and Butler waited in the hallway in silence. Every minute or so, one would open their mouth to say something, then rethink and close it awkwardly. They looked at their watches every few seconds, and after ten minutes had elapsed, both began to speak simultaneously.

"Should we perhaps…"

"I suppose it's time…"

Juliet smiled slightly, then simply gave her older brother an enquiring look. He nodded and both lunged for the door handle. Juliet reached it first but hesitated for a moment.

"What do we say?" she asked.

Butler stopped and thought for a few seconds.

"Normal things. We're very sorry he's hurt, hope he and his wife get well soon. You know the drill."

"What if he asks how it happened? Artemis, he seemed…"

Butler took a breath, then exhaled audibly.

"We'll tell him we don't yet know for sure. Artemis will tell him some time, if he hasn't already."

Juliet nodded silently, then turned the handle and walked in.

"Good afternoon, Mr Fowl. I hope you are as well as could be expected in such circumstances."

"Hi Juliet, afternoon Butler. Juliet, your formality is disturbing me. As did Artemis', but then his was only to be expected. Yours, however…"

Juliet did her best to look awkward and apologetic, but couldn't conceal a small smile. Butler, who was still standing in the doorway, moved forward to stand next to his sister and closed the door behind him. Artemis, who had been sitting on his father's bed, silently stood up and moved back a little to stand near his friends. No-one could think of anything to say for what seemed an age, and the four remained listening to the blips of the machines surrounding the boy's unconscious mother. Butler finally spoke.

"Is there anything we can do for you, sir? I trust the staff here are attentive?"

"Oh yes, everything's fine, thankyou Butler. I suppose you could try and find me a book sometime, if you had the opportunity. Of course, the laptop would be preferable, but I believe it interferes with the medical equipment, and that would be… unwise."

Everyone glanced over to the other bed, where Angeline Fowl lay. She was motionless except for a barely perceptible rise and fall of her chest to indicate she was still breathing.

"When do the doctors expect Mother to regain consciousness?" Artemis asked his father quietly.

"They aren't sure. Doctor Severn said they would have to do a few scans, and probably operate after that because they suspect some internal injuries, but they wanted to leave her for a couple of hours first just to stabilise a bit." Artemis II nodded.

"Father, would you mind if I left you for a little while? I would like to go for a short walk, if it wouldn't bother you."

"No, no, not at all, son. Would you like to take Butler with you? Perhaps it would be wise – whoever was trying to blow us up might wish to harm you still…"

"I… don't think that will be a problem, father," Artemis said slowly.

Artemis I tried to read his son's face, but as always it was impassive and blank.

"Do you know what happened, Artemis?" he asked.

"I… I have an idea, father. But I'm not quite sure how to explain it. I will work out how to explain while I walk."

"Alright. You go off and walk around, and think, and Butler and Juliet and I can have a chat. And don't worry, Artemis, I know it wasn't your fault."

Artemis II tried desperately not to let his face betray him at this point. He had no idea of what he was going to say to his father when he returned, and in fact hardly trusted himself to speak then, so just nodded.

Butler's deep voice came from next to him, almost making him jump.

"Maybe you could go and find your father a book, Master Artemis. There is a limited selection in the gift shop, or else I believe there is a bookshop a little way down the street."

The boy nodded again, then swallowed and spoke softly.

"Do you have any preference as to which book, father?"

"Anything, really. Well, I suppose I'd prefer if the plot did not involve large-scale explosions…"

Artemis nodded, said a quick goodbye, and left.

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There we go. Chapter 3b will be up soon... I'll see if I can update everything by new year, how bout that? anyway, I am now very tired. also I was singing at midnight mass on christmas eve so yes i am sick of being awake. please review if you can be stuffed and it doesnt crash your computer like it always crashes mine when i try to review. and no comments that i have a crap computer thankyou very much. Anyway, that's all from me, have a happy, well, a happy boxing day and I'll update asap. Bye!!!!! 


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